How to Control and Put Your Anger to Good Use

Anyone can be angry - that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not easy.
---- ARISTOTLE

It is rather unnatural to always avoid getting angry as it is sometimes necessary to express anger especially as a corrective measure. Although anger is usually referred to as a negative emotion, one thing about it is that it can be used positively if it is under control. How?

Remember to pause and think
Someone just said or did something, or something just happened that aroused your anger. Don't burst out yet. Quickly think about the matter. Does it worth the anger? Why did it even arouse your anger? Perhaps getting angry at that moment will not make any positive impact, it may only worsen the situation. If you discover that it would be improper and unnecessary to get angry at that moment, focus your mind something else to do to make things right, and let the anger subside.

Don't let your anger cloud your mind
Think about the matter that agitated your mind and aroused the anger, think through it, and think beyond it. Then, you will be able to foresee the result of the anger-which can be positive or negative- before you express it. You can then decide whether to hold your anger or to express it. You therefore become the master of your anger-instead of being a slave to it and letting it drive you.

It is never too late to reason
You might have started to manifest your anger already without pausing to think first, possibly because you are just beginning to learn to control it. Don't give up, you can start thinking of the right thing to do at that point to correct yourself.

Don't display your anger to satisfy your ego or just because you feel the urge to
Anger that is mixed with ego would be difficult to control- they should be separated first. And if you then decide that it would be proper and more beneficial to express your anger, make sure you maintain your sanity-don't do or say whatever comes to your mind. And put the ego aside. Then focus your mind on the right words and the right actions to use to express the anger in order to get the desired positive result(s)-this would require your determination. And the joyful feeling of being in control that comes after makes it worthwhile.

Work on your mindset
Your frequent anger may be due to your way of thinking and perception. Keep an open mind and try to see things in different ways, and you may be able to avoid most anger.

In a nutshell, however the intensity of the urge to display your anger, don't stop reasoning and be determined to do the right thing. Just summon your will power and put it above your feelings and ask yourself: what is the right thing to do at this moment? It will amaze you how much control you have over your emotions.

Depression Prevention: Dealing with Loneliness

Solitude, while to some is a delightful experience, to many it is a gateway to depression. For those that find it delighting it is time to reflect and plan for the future; time to discover their creativity – History shows that many discoveries take place during the period of solitude. However, this period brings to some people the feelings of loneliness and sadness, and may result to depression if unchecked. Sometimes one can feel lonely even in company of others especially if one is not compatible with them - whether in mindsets, orientation or aspiration. How one prevents the depression is largely dependent on how one responds to the feeling of loneliness, especially if the solitude is unavoidable.

To deal with loneliness one can find something specific to do. This helps to organize, direct and coordinate the psychic energy, and in the process brings harmony to the mind. When the mind is harmonized the feelings of joy and satisfaction ensue.

There is always something to do like taking up a book, mowing the lawn or any other domestic chore. By directing all the attention to it one can turn it into an interesting task. The main point here is ‘focusing the attention until there is no room left in the mind for worry’.

Another thing one can engage in is intellectual workout that can be done alone. For example, anticipating a future situation and devising ways to approach it; reflecting on the previous actions – without accommodating any negative feeling but focusing on improvement – and making amendments to them where necessary, in case the situation repeats itself later in the future one can use the new approach to get a better result.

Mathematical, scientific and philosophical thinking and observation, arts and poetry fall in this category. For both the hobbyists and the professionals in this fields almost everything around can be an object of observation and contemplation or a source of inspiration – one could imagine how remarkable and fascinating it was falling of a fruit in the contemplative mind of Isaac Newton.

The methods above can be used to stem the effect of loneliness, and prevent it from slipping into depression; to turn the period of solitude into a moment of happiness and satisfaction.

Depression Symptoms and First Aid

Depression Symptoms:

· Experiencing low mood over a long period of time – especially without any apparent cause.

· Feelings of unhappiness and despair which are in some cases accompanied by pessimism and low self esteem.

· Eating disorder – Increase or decrease of appetite.

· Loss of spirit – internal drive or energy – and fatigue.

· Sleeping disorder – having difficulty to have enough sleep or sleeping too much.

· Diminishing or loss of interest in everyday activities thereby making difficult enjoyment derivation.

· Dullness of thought or loss of ability to concentrate.

· Abnormal feelings of guilt.

For any of the above depression symptoms here is the first aid

First Aid:

Avoid worrying about the condition. Because worry itself has negative effects on the mind and body, and is capable of initiating anxiety and stress thereby escalating the depression – whether endogenous or exogenous. Instead the person should look for ways to cure or at least alleviate the depression. By seeking emotional support from friends and family; engaging in exercises, hobbies or activities that involve social contact and interaction – such activities are capable of reducing psychological stress, improving the mood and mental functioning. This helps to keep the depression under control.

Are Some People Immune to Stress and Boredom ? What is the secret?

I would like to start by mentioning my observation of a former colleague of mine who seemed immune to stress and boredom. In fact, I never saw him feeling stressed or getting bored for a moment no matter the amount or nature of the work he did, and he always worked more than any of other colleagues. He was ready to take on more assignments even while he was already having high doses of work, and this sometimes made some co-workers uncomfortable. To them he was someone looking for some special favor from the management. He did get some favor as a reward for his extra hard-work, but as a matter of fact, the guy enjoyed doing his work.

What I first noticed about him is his organization and focus at work. It then occurred to me that if one can organize one’s work – strategically plan and arrange or list the tasks to be executed in order of priority – and keep focused on getting the job done, one can organize the mind and make it harmonious. And a harmonious mind is a stress-free mind, as the work becomes a means of enjoyment and happiness. This explains why this man worked harder and faster without experiencing stress or boredom.

Another thing is his readiness to take more assignments even those other workers were unwilling to take complaining they had had enough. And instead of worrying about the enormous work he had to do, he just went ahead with the work. He gave no room for anxiety and worry. This make me understand that if one has got so many accumulated works to do that seem like the Mount Everest, one should not worry about the amount and complexity of the overall work, as this could lead to anxiety and confusion. And anxiety kills the motivation thereby minimizes the performance. It might also cause one to get stressed too early even before starting the work.

Although no one can prevent anxiety from occurring if its conditions are met, it is possible to decide how long it lasts – but it’s just a few that know how or learn to do this. The key is to develop a solution seeking mindset. Instead of letting oneself to be overcome and depressed by anxiety one should focus the mind on seeking a way out it. One should find the causes and analyze them. What are the factors that result to this anxiety? Are they those one can do something about? If yes one should go ahead and do something about them, otherwise one should accept that there is nothing one can do about them. This serves as the evidence that helps to neutralize the effects of these factors any time they resurface. And if no apparent causes could be identified, especially in the case of anxiety disorder, one should not forget not to worry as worry will only aggravate the condition. This serves as first aid – it keeps the condition at a manageable level till the necessary treatment is found.

I could now recall from my own experiences at work, the moment I enjoy most is when I am well organized and focused - not attempting to do everything at the same time however urgent they might seem - and disallow anxiety and worry from taking root in my mind. I just have to assure myself that I can only work within my capacity but I would try to do the first thing first and I would not allow myself to worry about the complexities and difficulties the task may entail. Instead I would gather myself up and channel my energy on carrying out the task and keep focused on it with the determination to give it my best. As a result my mind gets organized and harmonious, and the feeling is both pleasuring and satisfying. This keeps stress and boredom at bay.

The aforementioned method can be applied to all kind of tasks whether in businesses, household chores, learning, sports, or even hobbies. And it can change a boring task to an enjoyable and fulfilling one since there are new ways of doing things which can be discovered when focusing. The method also helps to save time – the time that would have been wasted on worrying and on correcting the inconsistencies that might have occurred due to lack of organization and focus. Therefore, there is enough time to rest and for leisure.